[Editor’s Note: CovertAction Magazine has been among those outlets to detail the ever more rightward shift in U.S. politics and attendant growth of the U.S. warfare state and how this has resulted in widening domestic inequalities, a fraying of the U.S. middle class and unbearable lives for many people saddled with huge bills and debt. Many of those struggling in America today are military veterans who come from working-class backgrounds. In the past the military has functioned as a vehicle for social mobility; today, however, veterans are among those who find the “American Dream” to be out of reach. Below is an article of one such veteran. In the future, these veterans could provide foot soldiers in a revolutionary movement and the left would be wise to try to draw them into the social movements that are growing in the age of Trump.—Editors]
Our floor is gone in the bathroom, the back deck is falling in, there is a hole in the kitchen floor, the toilet in the basement is broken, the house needs an overhaul, there are broken windows, the garage needs repair, the yard is terrible…
…and here I am, the man of the house at an age when I should be able to help, but I am unable to do so.
In Iraq, the Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance was $250,000. If I had died in Iraq, my family could have received $250,000. Bills paid, no sick husband to take care of, no insane medical expenses, no bankruptcy, no ruined credit. They would have been taken care of. They would never have to deal with my failure, which was surviving.
Don’t get me wrong, I am an insanely blessed man. I was able to return in 2006 to my family and return to work as a firefighter/paramedic and tactical medic for the fire and police departments I worked with. My wife was a nurse and, between us, we made $130,000 a year. We had purchased a newly built house (the first newly constructed house my family or I had ever lived in). When the girls turned 16, we got them cars; we had great credit and life was moving forward.
Unfortunately, I brought back a bit of Iraq with me. I had developed a cough and chronic nausea. Shortly after I returned to work, I began having trouble breathing. I began to have problems passing out when performing strenuous work. I had to quit running and limit my workouts.
Finally, on April 1, 2014, I passed out at work. I was sent for tests and it was found that I had developed several medical issues and would have to start more testing. Within two weeks, I was told that I could never work again and that my lungs were failing.
My wife had to quit work to take care of me and, within a month, our income went from $130,000 a year to $28,000 a year. We filed for disability, and the waiting began.
After less than a year of waiting, our house was foreclosed on us, and we lost our vehicles, had our credit ruined, lost the house, and had to file for bankruptcy.
I actually died in Iraq and didn’t know it. The blessing of being able to spend more time with my family turned into a curse as they had to witness me lying on the floor struggling to breathe in a pool of my own spit and vomit. Witnessing me being hauled off too many times to mention in an ambulance, knowing that we did not know where we were going to sleep or if we would have food. It was too much, and it was a nightmare.
But there was a little light at the end of the tunnel. We finally started receiving my Social Security and VA Disability benefits about two years into this fight. We even received back pay; we were ecstatic. Of course, much of the back pay went to paying attorneys with the rest trying to catch up with a few bills.
Our credit was still ruined and we were a liability when it came to loans. We had accumulated insanely high credit card debt and loans to try to survive; now the reality was sinking in…we will never recover from this.
My wife owes more than $30,000 for her medicine for Alpha-1 antitrypsin deficiency. It is an expensive IV medication taken through a medical port in her chest that she has been on for several years. When I was working, my insurance would cover the medicine. However, when I lost my job, I had to begin using the VA exclusively, so my wife had to buy whatever insurance we could afford. The insurance we could afford did not cover the expensive medicine, so the company allowed us to continue to get the medicine and just pay what we could monthly.
We have more than $25,000 in debt from high interest rates, over $25,000 in repairs we need to make to this house, and monthly bills that eat up most of our pay.
If we did not have the debt and the destroyed credit caused by a foreclosure, bankruptcy and medical bills, we would have no problems making our payments. With over $3,000 going out on debt and an additional $2,000 going out for other medical expenses not covered by insurance, the rest of our money goes to paying for the house, insurance, utilities and other basic living expenses.
If we could simply get rid of some of our debt, then our problems would be over, but we cannot continue to try to pay the high interest loans and medical bills and live simultaneously. If we could just pay off the debt we incurred while waiting for the disability benefits, then we would finally be able to breathe.
It’s not happening though. We have depended on the kindness of strangers for almost ten years now, and I have become a leech. I have become a sponge, and my family has to suffer for my inability to provide.
I essentially died in 2006, but my body didn’t know it.
My family was cheated out of a decent life because I failed to die in Iraq, and now they are paying for it. I cannot work harder to get us out of this, and there are no charities to help those like myself.
I have life insurance and then there are other benefits my wife and kids can receive on my passing. Mortgage payoff insurance and other benefits would allow my wife and kids to recover from the financial hardship my return has brought them.
If you want to know why the veteran suicide rate is 44 per day [about 16,000 annually], I will tell you.
When you make a man feel like he is worth more dead than alive, and then he has to see his family suffer because he continues to breathe, then he eventually has to make a hard decision.
The most selfish thing I have ever done is survive Iraq. The second most selfish thing I have done is continue to live while my family suffers.
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About the Author
Sergeant Michael Thorin was/is a firefighter/paramedic, tactical medic, and OIF/OEF combat veteran.
His decorations include three Army commendation medals, the Army Achievement Medal (6 awards), the Global War on Terror (CONUS) Medal, the Global War on Terror (Expeditionary) Medal, the Iraq Campaign Medal, and the Combat Action Badge as well as multiple unit awards and citations.
As a first responder, he was recognized as the City of Hoover Firefighter of the Year 2013 and received the Hoover Freedom Award in 2014.
Michael can be reached at ilene@taghollywood.com.
Painful for you, for your family, and for the nation that has always warred against other people, always to dominate and become rich.
Time for all you vets to join for growing movement for real change, for real equality, enough for all, for peace in the world, and thus all the money need for all 8.3 billion to live a decent life.